A Little About Vanties

The other night I decided to take a trip to Walmart with my parents to kill some time. It was pretty late but because we are all a bunch of night owls during the weekends so we got up and headed there anyway. When we got there I decided that I wanted some new underwear, although I normally buy mine at Victorias Secrets, I was up for a bargain Oklahoma Style. With that said, I basically had no clue what I was looking at or where to go for the kind I like.
So I find some that look like they would do the job well and while I am looking, I hear "Can I help you with zumpthing baby?" In a Russianish accent. I look up and smile at the woman who asked me and tell her no thanks, laughing to myself because she just called me baby in Russian. I ponder some more as to whether or not I should make the purchase or wait until I make another trip to Tulsa and here she comes, showing me tiger striped thongs for a dollar which, after a little hesitation, I politely declined. Finally, as I am looking a little longer and this time picking out my sizes, she comes up again and tells me that "Zees vantiez are great!". She then pulls zees vanties out of a plastic container that zeey were in and proceeds to show me zee crotch zupport. This is when I almost lost it and died laughing because no one has ever shown me crotch support before. And by the way... what the hell is crotch support for??? Pretty sure mine is right where it needs to be and I need no zupport.
After this I am giggling to myself and she decides to break some rules for me and let me mix and match! So I got some white ones and black ones and purpley-blue ones. Her reasoning for this was: "Who buys vanties the zame color? It'z just rediculouz. Jeezzuusss".
And I agreed. No one in their right mind would ever buy vanties in the same color. So I this is when I laughed a lot. Then she laughed in Russian a lot and disappeared around the corner as I mix and matched my vanties and promised I wouldn't tell on her for letting me commit such a horrible crime in order to gain different colored vanties with crotch zupport.